Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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