yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i can't believe i had my finger in that
this boner is exhausting
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Randomize
