She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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