"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
