Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
