I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
