Say something about gay babies.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I am available for nakedness
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
