The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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