Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
