turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
