After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you would pick up someone in the library
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize