I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize