Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
