Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
