New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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