Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
