how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
