another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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