I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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