let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
