I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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