How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
