i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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