im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
