Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Green mimosas i think yes
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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