How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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