Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize