i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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