I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
