We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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