Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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