no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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