And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
