My first STD was from a foam party
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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