I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
well you can't waste a boner
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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