sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
