i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
