i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
