wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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