you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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