I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
