it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
areolas are like halos for boobs.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
