I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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