I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
