Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize