Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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