I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
