wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
