So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do vagina's smell?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize