I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
