You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
