Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
