names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
