There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Randomize