I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude i'm inner monologue high
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
