apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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