I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
