I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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