ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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