i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
