He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
