do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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