So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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