I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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