I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
