Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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