someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
