We named our party play list daddy issues
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
