A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Panties = found
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
